I knowfrom personal experience that fighting these urges can lead to some verydark places. I led two lives and it worked for me as my grades were good and myathletic success made me popular. I graduated with honors and evenreceived a few scholarships. I was a hero to some in the community andfrequently heard the comment, "You are going to go far in life" whichonly made my anxiety worse. They didn't know I was barely preparedemotionally for what I was about to face. College is the time when many teenagers break their bonds with the pastand figure out who they are. I was terrified to find out who I was andspent much of my time getting drunk and having a one night stands. Thiswas easy in college as commitment isn't necessary. I'm sure there weremany organizations on campus that would have been great help for me but Icouldn't reach out. A few girls tried to get close but I pushed themaway. I couldn't take a chance to tell them my deepest thoughts for fearof rejection. I also. " James recalled that he actually hadn't gained an inch in height from the time he was sixteen. He had stopped growing then, both physically and emotionally."Well, you're at least five ten and a half now." Anne stated, smiling at him. "See, it's not all bad, is it?" I guess." James shrugged his shoulders. A half an inch in height wasn't spectacular growth."Honey, you're pretty tall for a girl." Anne said at James' shrug. "I'm only five eight." I must get it from Grandma. What was she, six one?" James recalled his grandmother, an extremely tall woman with grey hair."Yeah, you must. It's just kind of strange, you being so tall when your sister is not." Anne remarked, her eyes never leaving the growth chart, and his sister's mark about seven inches below his.James did not comment, merely looking at his mother. She returned his gaze, with a softness that surprised him. Despite everything, she was still his mother. Despite the changes, despite everything he would later put her through, she.
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